Fighting conflicts in my despairing heart
Memory ripping into different thoughts
Generous jabs conquer the work of art
Stabbing visits shortly amongst the shotsThe window glares at me, bearing its teeth
Bowing slowly as not to upset it
Throwing aside bloody freezing sword sheath
Cower I must avoid until I hit
Falling into the jail of killer dirt
Digging quickly with cupped bleeding fingers
Snoozing above as it slumbers unhurt
The fight rising within that which lingers
The thoughts sometimes consume the soul
Alas I must begin running the goal
Falling into the jail of killer dirt
Digging quickly with cupped bleeding fingers
Snoozing above as it slumbers unhurt
The fight rising within that which lingers
The thoughts sometimes consume the soul
Alas I must begin running the goal
Bryce, I wasn't sure if this was about true inner torment, figuratively portrayed as jagged cold and violent warfare... Or if it was a description of your favorite game. :) Or maybe both! The ending couplet seems to imply that so often, our fervent contemplations can delay our action (Hamlet's problem!), which is as good a contemplation on life as any!
ReplyDeleteNice job with rhyme and meter as well, for the most part. I was wishing for punctuation to indicate the ends of clauses. Still, this was still a great response to the assignment!
14/15
Love this! I love how you personified dirt; how it seems to define a ruthless killer or murderer. With that, dirt is also able to contain others as it is like a "jail". I give you encouragement to continue pushing through anything that comes in your way; to make it through this jail that consumes the soul, which makes you bleed either figuratively or literally. FIGHT GIRL, FIGHT! You got this
ReplyDeleteBryce, this was absolutely amazing! Your imagery is so vivid!! I really love the personification of dirt as well, so ditto what Cassidy said! This was truly fantastic!! Way to be girl!! And fight to the bitter end!! Love YOU!!
ReplyDelete